Why feelings belong in your financial plan
“Money is an emotional lightning rod.” The first time I heard Brian Portnoy say that, I thought about late‐night sim racing: throttle steady, corner tightening, pulse rising. If I flinch, I spin. If I breathe and make a micro‐adjustment, the car glides. Money works the same way. In September 2025, headlines flash, portfolios wobble, and adults with careers, kids, mortgages, and dreams feel it all—fear, hope, envy, doubt. That’s not a flaw; that’s our operating system.
“We are feeling creatures who think,” Brian Portnoy reminds us.
Biology backs it up. Your brain is roughly 2.5% of body mass but burns close to 25% of your energy. We’re built for quick signals, not for perfectly “rational” optimization. So don’t fight emotions—work with them.
Create the gap: the two‐second habit that saves portfolios
A line often attributed to Viktor Frankl says that freedom lives in the space between stimulus and response. That small gap is the core of financial courage. Your app turns red, your stomach tightens, your body shouts “Sell!” In that instant, craft a two‐second pause:
- Step 1: Name it. “I feel anxiety and tension.”
- Step 2: Time‐box it. “I decide at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow, not now.”
- Step 3: Check the plan. “Does this align with my written rules?”
It won’t look heroic, but this is the real muscle that prevents quiet, expensive self‐sabotage. Train it, and panic loses volume.
Measure what matters: funded contentment over market glory
Chasing “beat the market” is seductive—and misaligned. When we measure ourselves against an index or a neighbor’s lucky trade, envy and loss aversion take the wheel. A better yardstick is what Portnoy calls funded contentment: money that fuels a life you actually want.
I plan around four C’s:
- Connection: Saturday mornings reserved for my daughter. No screens, full presence.
- Control: Automatic transfers so future bills don’t hijack today’s calm.
- Competence: A paid mini‐course that lights me up and expands skills.
- Context: A targeted donation to a cause I understand and believe in.
When your benchmark is the life you’re financing, the siren song of someone else’s gain fades.
Where human advice and AI meet
Investment plumbing is increasingly commoditized: broad‐market index funds, robo‐execution, tax‐loss algorithms. Great news—costs drop and access rises. The durable value now shifts toward coaching and clarity.
If a planner charges 1% of assets, on $1,000,000 that’s $10,000 a year. The real question is, “What do I get?” If you receive emotional navigation that averts one major panic sale in a decade—and a clearer life compass—that fee can be an investment instead of a cost. It’s no surprise many top practices report client retention around 98–99%; people stay where they feel seen.
Tech helps. AI (artificial intelligence) can digest data, surface choices, and flag behavioral patterns. CRM (customer relationship management) keeps the human story organized. RPA (robotic process automation) handles routine workflows. And when portfolios wander off target, monitoring for drift brings them back. But empathy turns information into meaning. My own formula: AI for breadth, humans for depth.
Design small rituals that keep you on track
You don’t need perfect discipline; you need repeatable rhythm. Try these micro‐rituals:
- Rule 1: No big money decisions after 10:00 p.m. or under strong emotion.
- Rule 2: Name one feeling before any trade; write it in a quick log.
- Rule 3: Pre‐schedule “decision windows” and stick to them.
- Rule 4: Keep a one‐page plan visible: goals, allocation ranges, and cash needs.
- Rule 5: Use automation for bills and savings; reserve attention for judgment.
“Calm exits make fast laps,” I learned in sim racing. The same calm makes better financial outcomes.
A 7‐day challenge to practice calm action
For the next 7 days, when markets or social posts spike your pulse, say out loud: “Noticing [exact feeling]. Delaying response until [specific time]. Returning to my life benchmark.”
- Step 1: Log the moment and the feeling.
- Step 2: Revisit your four C’s and choose one tiny action today.
- Step 3: If you want a co‐pilot, find an advisor who starts with your life, not your tickers. If you use AI, let it clear the path; let heart and head choose the direction.
Affirmations to carry:
- “I can recognize the signal.”
- “I can breathe before the bend.”
- “My money funds my life, not my ego.”
- “In the gap, I find my freedom—and my success.”
This is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Consult a qualified expert for personal guidance.